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Jack and Jill is mankind's greatest atrocity

Jack and Jill (DVD/Blu-Ray) - Dir. Dennis Dugan. Starring Adam Sandler, Al Pacino, Katie Holmes. Astonishingly bad cross-dressing comedy. Like many, I thought Jack and Jill was a joke when I first heard of it.
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Jack and Jill (DVD/Blu-Ray) - Dir. Dennis Dugan. Starring Adam Sandler, Al Pacino, Katie Holmes.

Astonishingly bad cross-dressing comedy.

Like many, I thought Jack and Jill was a joke when I first heard of it. Playing his own screeching twin sister in a wig seems too low even for what Adam Sandler has become-too low even for a mainstream comedy. Obviously I was wrong.

Jack and Jill is about a guy (Adam Sandler) whose name I don't remember, but is presumably "Jack," being paid a visit by his twin sister Jill (Adam Sandler), the worst person in the world. Every time Jill is about to go back home, she invites herself to stay longer: something that Jack, for some reason, is powerless to stop.

I suppose it could be argued that this is an example of brilliantly immersive filmmaking; we truly feel Jack's pain in each of these moments when we realize that we too will have to put up with Jill for another hour.

There is no plot to speak of: just endless scenes of Sandler in drag shrieking, farting, and generally being as annoying as possible. At no point could any of this be mistaken for funny by anyone.

The supporting characters are useless and generic. Sandler's (male) character is a pitiful rehash of the same yawn-inducing lead he's played in all of his "family" movies, and so is his smug, judgmental wife (Katie Holmes). The attempt to teach a lesson about family togetherness makes me want to die.

Al Pacino has a fairly large supporting role as himself. I don't know why he's in this movie. I don't know why anyone is in this movie.

This is a kids' film, apparently, but that only makes it worse. Kids' movies are supposed to expand the imagination, or at least act as harmless babysitters while you're off playing blackjack. They're not supposed to erode your children's fragile brains.

By the time I saw Jack and Jill I was already numb to the initial bafflement over why anyone would make a film based on so unimaginably terrible a concept. I had resigned myself to the hideous, soul-destroying madness of the thing, and was prepared to watch Adam Sandler put on a dress and do the crotch-scratching thing.

So maybe that's why the movie didn't seem as bad as it should have been. Anything can feel normal with the proper conditioning. Jack and Jill may be the worst movie of the year, but it's not really any worse than Sandler's last big project, Grown Ups (possibly the worst of last year). This might mean that Sandler's steady decline as a comedy writer and producer has finally reached a plateau.

Don't mistake any of this for an endorsement; Jack and Jill has no redeeming qualities. But it is less painful than, say, having your arm bitten off by a shark.

Rated PG for brain poison.
1.5 out of 5