For the past month, on the top of my refrigerator, sat a pair of glasses. They don’t belong to anyone in the house. They very nearly didn’t make it into the house, as they were found at the end of the driveway, right where people normally drive. The glasses were nearly crushed under the weight of a surprisingly loud red hatchback, if the neighbor had not spotted them as the car was getting cleaned.
I don’t know whose glasses they are. Part of the reason for writing this column is to see if I can find the answer, because honestly I don’t have much use for someone else’s glasses. I did throw it on an online group when I found them, in an effort to put in the least amount of effort possible in order to find the real owners. Instead, I found nobody at all.
And now, a month later, I have decided to make another attempt at figuring out who these glasses actually belong to, this one involving a little bit more effort.
Why do I even care? Well, I know what would happen if I didn’t have my glasses. My own prescription is fairly strong - a recent party saw attendees passing around my prescription sunglasses, amazed that anyone could see anything out of them. So if my glasses found themselves in someone’s driveway, I would not get very far. This person didn’t have quite the same degree of vision correction, but still, you’re not going to get that far without them.
This is especially true if you’re driving anywhere. Get in a collision and, if you’re a glasses wearer, that’s the first question asked. This is even true if you’re not the one at fault, and somehow is even true if you weren’t in the car at the time, such as a few years ago when my parked car was hit one winter morning.
Someone out there could be facing some serious insurance liability since they don’t have their glasses anymore.
I’m honestly impressed they’ve gone this long without them. Glasses don’t have an especially fast turnaround, because lenses all have to be custom made to fit your eyes. They probably have a new pair by now, but they’ve had a long time of being blind. Plus, glasses aren’t exactly cheap, so they probably had to pay a decent amount for those replacements. I’m not throwing glasses money around without putting in some serious thought about it.
I also don’t know how they found themselves at the end of my driveway. Did someone throw them out of a moving car? Were they stolen by an aggressive bird? How on earth did they go from someone’s face to my driveway? It is a complete mystery, even if it’s one that will wind up being extremely mundane at the end, if there’s a story at all. I won’t judge you, this misadventure is between you and the asphalt where your glasses were found.
If these happen to be your glasses, they will now be in the Yorkton This Week office on 3rd Ave. If they’re yours, pick them up. If they’re not, why would you even want them?