John Cena has been a professional wrestler for nearly 20 years. He’s been a top draw in WWE, the biggest pro wrestling company in the world, for almost as long. He’s won dozen of world championships, headlined countless main events, and body slammed Kevin Federline (his great accomplishment). He’s left an indelible mark in the wrestling and entertainment worlds. His impact can’t be overstated.
And yet, after Blockers, he’ll probably be best known for shoving a funnel up his butt.
In Blockers’ signature scenes (its “Show me the money,” its “I’ll have what she’s having,” its [insert famous comedy moment here]), Cena’s Mitchell, in a bid to get past the bros blocking his way to a house part, participates in a butt chugging challenge. He guzzles a pint of booze from the opposite end until the cops interrupt the competition, resulting in, well, the biggest laugh of the movie.
The scene, as contrived and juvenile as it might be, gets the job done, much like the rest of the movie. Blockers suffers from the typical modern comedy problems, but it’s a reliable generator of laughs. There are worse ways to spend 102 minutes.
John Cena leans in hard to his public persona as a dedicated, overly-enthusiastic fitness nut who doubles as an adorable puppy of a man as Mitchell, the protective father of Kayla (Geraldine Viswanathan). On prom night, Kayla and her friends Julie (Kathryn Newton) and Sam (Gideon Adlon) vow to lose their virginities in a “sex pact.” Unfortunately for them, Mitchell, helicopter mom Lisa (the always irritating Leslie Mann) and absentee dad Hunter (an endearing Ike Barinholtz) discover their plot and plan to *rooster emoji* block them (hence the brilliant title).
Simple premise executed simply. The parents follow the kids from party to party, trying to catch them, but mostly wind up in comic setpieces. The narrative is split evenly between the adults and teenagers, allowing for a fair balance of perspectives. Each character is given a solid motivation and definition, providing sympathy and laughs. While most of the story beats are predictable, they’re pulled off well enough to squeeze in as many jokes as possible. Besides, comedies like these don’t rely on the story; they rely on the cast.
Of the three adult leads, Barinholtz is the standout. His character has the most sympathetic and fully realized arc. He manages to spit out the best one-liners while still capturing a sense of real emotion. He makes his act-two character monologue feel genuine and heartfelt, even if it ends with one of the movie’s cruelest punchlines.
John Cena is John Cena. What you see is what you get. He throws himself into the role, subjecting himself to countless indignities and embarrassments. He brings a lot of energy to the movie and while he lacks the raw charisma of The Rock or Dave Bautista, he’s a welcome new face to Hollywood, as Blockers will surely restart his film career. He can’t quite save his character’s weak closure scene, but he’s good enough.
Leslie Mann is by far the weakest of the adults. She’s not nearly as annoying here as she’s been in The Change-Up or This Is 40, but her character is the least funny of the trio. Mann shows a decent emotional range, but it feels like she’s always lagging behind Barinholtz’s depth and Cena’s enthusiasm.
The teens are acceptable, conveying the innocence and stupidity of that age bracket. Viswanathan might be the best of the lot, while Adlon deftly handles the sweetest subplot of the movie.
If Blockers has one Achilles heel, it’s editing. This movie is chopped and organized like a broken jigsaw puzzle. Scenes gracelessly stumble into each other like bar drunks on Superbowl night. Closeup shots will cut to wide shots that don’t match what we just saw. Cena’s hand will be on Mann’s shoulder in one shot, then resting at his sides in the next. Barinholtz will be smiling in a closeup, then frowning in a wide. Characters will speak with their back to the camera, but it’s clear their lips aren’t moving. Several closeups will isolate the characters in the frame, separating them from the cast and (by extension) the comic energy. It often feels like the cast members shot their group scenes on different days and the editor had to glue everything together. Blockers looks like it was edited in a blender.
But aside from boring movie critics, who cares about technical flaws when the laughs are constant and consistent? Blockers might be sloppy, but it keeps the audience laughing until the credits. It’s worth a watch, even if the only thing you’ll remember from it is John Cena funneling alcohol through his rear exit.
