Developer promises skyscraper for downtown Yorkton (satire)

just the facts

The Yorkton skyline is about to dramatically change according to a local developer.

Ronald Crump plans to build a downtown condominium he is touting as the city’s first skyscraper. Plans for the building, dubbed Crump Tower, indicate it will be four-and-a-half stories tall, and occupy a vacant lot on Myrtle Avenue.

article continues below

“It’s going to be a huge building, huge,” Crump said. “A terrific building, terrific. I build the best buildings.”

Responding to criticism by Fox FM news director Doug Falconer that the new building will barely be taller than their building, Crump tweeted: “The media is very unfair to me, very unfair. Fox FM is fake news and Doug is just mad that my great building is going to dwarf his stupid building.”

Falconer doesn’t think the project will get off the ground.

“Have you seen the concept drawing,” he asked. “It looks like it was drawn on the back of a dirty napkin by a five-year-old.”

The developer did admit that the new condo will technically only be five feet taller than the Fox building.

“Okay, if you put them right next to each other, it might not seem that much taller, but downtown it’s going to look very impressive, very impressive,” he said. “Also, it’s going to be skinny, only one apartment wide, so that will make it look even taller.”

Yorkton Mayor Bob Maloney was positive if underwhelmed by the announcement.

“Any new development in Yorkton is a good thing,” Maloney said. “I don’t know if I would call it a skyscraper, though.”

In fact, the current definition of a skyscraper is at least 40 or 50 stories, but that did not dampen Crump’s enthusiasm for the project.

“It’s going to be a wonderful building, just terrific,” he insisted. “And I am going to make Melville pay for it.”

“We’re not going to pay for it,” said Melville Mayor Walter Streelasky.

© Copyright Yorkton This Week

Comments

NOTE: To post a comment you must have an account with at least one of the following services: Disqus, Facebook, Twitter, Google+ You may then login using your account credentials for that service. If you do not already have an account you may register a new profile with Disqus by first clicking the "Post as" button and then the link: "Don't have one? Register a new profile".

The Yorkton This Week welcomes your opinions and comments. We do not allow personal attacks, offensive language or unsubstantiated allegations. We reserve the right to edit comments for length, style, legality and taste and reproduce them in print, electronic or otherwise. For further information, please contact the editor or publisher, or see our Terms and Conditions.

comments powered by Disqus