Event planned without pierogis and cabbage rolls (satire)

just the facts

Perhaps for the first time in Yorkton’s history a public event is being planned that reportedly will not feature pierogis and cabbage rolls.

The evening of dinner and entertainment is being put on March 15 by the new Yorkton congregation of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which is hoping it will raise their profile in the community. Organizers say their choice for the menu is pretty obvious.

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“We’re all about the pasta,” said Minister Mark Rayhoffer. “In honour of His noodly appendage, of course.”

There was almost immediate blowback from the Ukrainian Embassy in Ottawa.

“It’s unprecedented,” said Ambassador Andriy Shevchenko. “It may even constitute an international diplomatic incident.”

Bishop Bryan Bayda, head of the Ukrainian Catholic Eparchy of Saskatoon, said he was not surprised, but disappointed.

“This group is irreverent at best,” he said. “But not serving pierogis and cabbage rolls at a Yorkton event? That borders on sacrilegious.”

The most difficult thing about scheduling the event, however, was finding a venue that understood the client actually did not want to serve pierogis and cabbage rolls.

“Most of the managers just laughed us out of their offices, or they couldn’t wrap their head around our request,” Rayhoffer explained.

The Church finally managed to book the Gallagher Centre. Jan Morrison, the centre’s events manager said she had no problem accommodating the special requirement.

“They said they didn’t want pierogis and cabbage rolls,” she recalled. “So, we said, ‘yeah, sure, whatever.’ We all had a good laugh about it.”

Asked if she understood the client was serious about not having the Ukrainian staples at their event, Morrison scoffed.

“That’s just ridiculous, who would plan an event like that in Yorkton?” she said. “We will have all their pasta dishes, but of course there will be pierogis and cabbage rolls as well.”

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