Intersection closed due to standoff (satire)

just the facts

The City of Yorkton has announced the intersection at Darlington Street and Dracup Avenue is closed until further notice following a standoff in which four vehicles arrived simultaneously at the four-way stop.

“At this point nobody knows whose turn it is to go,” said Mayor Bob Maloney. “The City had no choice but to set up a detour around the area.”

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Motorists are currently being diverted to Smith Street or York Road via Mayhew Avenue or Seventh Avenue while the RCMP attempts to get things moving.

“Usually, someone gets fed up and goes, but this group is particularly stubborn,” said Cst. F. R. Strated. “We may have to bring in tow trucks.”

“I’m sick of people not understanding how four-ways work,” said driver Peter Mule. “It’s that frikkin’ woman’s turn, she was clearly the first one here, and I’m not moving until she does.”

That woman is Joanna Putz, who got confused when all four vehicles arrived at the exact same time.

“There should probably be some rules about who goes first in case of a tie,” she said. “Maybe, like, the person on the right should go. I guess they don’t do that because how would anybody know who’s on the right?”

Maloney said he was not really surprised by the incident.

“I’ve lived in Yorkton for decades and see how people drive around here,” he said. “Frankly, I’m surprised this doesn’t happen more often.”

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