Police seek public help locating missing flag (satire)

just the facts

Yorkton RCMP are asking for the public’s help tracking down a flag that went missing from the headquarters of the Commemorative and Awareness Days Fatigue Society CADFS.

Following media coverage of Yorkton City Council declaring March 13 “Nothing Special Day” [Just the Fake Facts Ma’am, March 1, 2017], Nolan Skaple, CADFS president, said his office was broken into and the Nothing Special Day flag was stolen.

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Mayor Bob Maloney was quick to point the finger at a known vexillology activist organization headquartered in Pasadena, California.

“We suspect the Fun with Flags Coalition (FFC),” the mayor said.

Sheldon Cooper, president of the FFC, indignantly disputed Maloney’s accusation.

“Just because we have fun with flags does not mean we go around having fun with other people’s flags,” Cooper told Yorkton This Week. “For one thing, it would be unsanitary. We would like to have one of those for our collection, though.”

Yorkton RCMP Staff Sergeant Jeff Simpson said they are looking into it, but currently are not aware of a local chapter of FFC.

The flag features a red no sign on a white background with two red bars on either side. The white background represents nothing special while the red bars represent the crushing oppression of the abundance of commemorative and awareness days, weeks and months, Skaple explained.

CADFS is offering a reward of two dollars and 17 cents for the safe return of the flag.

Anyone with information about this crime can call the local detachment at 306-555-RCMP.

© Copyright Yorkton This Week

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