Royals reveal how they remain cheerful all the time (satire)

just the facts

During the 2016 Royal Tour of Canada, Canadians could not help but notice that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, William and Kate, always seemed to be cheerful.

Despite a schedule that took them to seven B.C. and Yukon communities in seven days, in virtually every photo taken of the royal couple they are laughing or smiling prompting journalists to speculate on just how they remain upbeat under the gruelling pressure of a Royal Tour.

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While some have cynically suggested they may fake it at least some of the time, people who met them said it seemed like they were genuinely happy.

Now, in an exclusive interview with Just the Fake Facts, they reveal just how they do it.

“Well, we’re ridiculously rich, aren’t we?” William said. “We’re young and beautiful and I don’t think you really understand how insanely wealthy we actually are. I don’t even get it myself. For example, I don’t know if the proper price for a plate of fish and chips is five hundred pounds or five thousand pounds.

“And it doesn’t matter, does it, because if I desire a plate of fish and chips all I have to do is say ‘I’d like a plate of fish and chips’ and it appears before me as if by magic.”

Kate agreed, saying the hardships of their travel schedule may be exaggerated in the media and the public’s imagination.

“Look, we get to travel to wonderful places all over the world,” she said. “We do it in an aeroplane that is like a five-star resort and when we get to places we are treated like royalty because… well… because we are royalty.

“And we have servants... oh, sorry, we’re supposed to call them staff now... we have staff who do pretty much everything for us from minding the children to laying out our clothes in the morning.

“I honestly cannot think of one reason why we should not be smiling and laughing all the time.”

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